The weight of the problem has dawned on me.
I have to convert to Islam.
Not only do I have to study it, I have to make peace with it, embrace it, and make a home out of it.
I have to make a home out if it.
My beliefs, my perspectives, who God is to me, the way I see the world, my way of communing with God, the prayers I have recited in happiness, in sorrows all the years as a kid, teenager, adult, the cries I screamed to Him, the songs I sing to Him, the sacred presence, my sacred presence, the result of my search, my church, the place in my soul.
Everything.
Everything must go.
How can you say to someone he has to stop believing in things he dearly believes?
How can you say to someone he can't pray the way he always prays?
Who will I then be?
